Product Review: The iPod Classic ca. 2006 by Apple

Hello dear reader, this is T with my first product review.

-Have you ever awoken the next morning after blacking out the night before because you realize those four mixed drinks you had contained everclear instead of vodka?

-Have you ever lost your iPhone, iPad, or iPod Touch and forget to install the Find My iPhone App?

-Have you ever spent and hour on your friend's phone as Apple's costumer service keeps you on hold?

-Have you heard the following from an Apple representative, "I understand how frustrating it must be that you've lost your phone. I once lost a pair of headphones at the bus station. However, I cannot access your iPhone to either locate where it currently is or even to remotely lock it using the Find My iPhone app that my company owns and that has literally been downloaded to your phone. My decision will not be changed, even if you know your phone's cellular number, imei (serial) number, apple id, apple id password, or the general location of your phone. Further, I am also not permitted to attach your iPhone to your apple id even with your convent. If you do find your phone, you should think about downloading the app to the phone and pairing it to your account. Here, let me send you a twenty page manual on how to do this."

If you have met any of the following conditions or conditions similar to those listed above, allow me to introduce the iPod Classic ca. 2006.

This model has a verity of revolutionary upgrades:

• The screen has a physical lock button that prevents accidental opening or operations of the mp3     player
• The iPod can store up to 80GB of music, movies, podcasts and more making it an effective stooge unit for songs that you have not listened to since July 9th, 2009
• The physical wheel located on the bottom half of your iPod allows no confusion about where the play, skip, or menu buttons are at all times.
• This iPod even simplifies charging for those of you who do not want to upgrade to an iPhone 5 or later charger.

While the iPod Classic ca. 2006 is a great product for the trendy consumer, there are a few flaws in the product design:

• It cannot: make calls, send or open emails, connect to the internet, download apps, be used as a calculator, be used as a flashlight, update my podcast list, and many more limitations!!!
• It also is limited by the fact that IT'S NOT MY GOD DAMN PHONE THAT HAS BEEN LOST FOR MOVER A WEEK!!!

Aside from theses minor issues, if you have recently lost your iPhone or are looking for a music downgrade, look no further than the iPod Classic ca. 2006. Available on Ebay or the closest closet near you.

Until next time.

-T